Wednesday, April 7, 2010

WIP Wednesday!

Today you get a taste of something very different- a comedic screenplay!

Unfortunately, this script will probably not be produced in any way because there's not enough conflict in the story. However, I really enjoyed writing it and if I have time over the summer, I'll tweak it to see if it might work another way. For now, though, here's a snippet of a story of two men who own a successful dry cleaning business:


INT. COFFEE SHOP

RICK and DAVE sit down at a table with their drinks.

DAVE
Nice crowd so far today, huh?

RICK
Yeah, I could hardly keep up.

DAVE
Sometimes I’m still shocked at how well the business is doing. I mean, who would’ve thought that dry cleaning, of all things, would make us a small fortune? (Laughs) And my mother wanted me to be a doctor.

RICK
I know, right? And I’m having an even better time with it than I thought I would.

DAVE
Me, too.

RICK
Truly amazing.

DAVE
It was a great idea.

RICK
Genius.

DAVE
Inspired.

RICK
And our success-

DAVE
Something most people only dream about.

RICK
Definitely.

DAVE
We hit the jackpot.

RICK
We really did.

DAVE
I hate it.

RICK
So do I.

A moment passes as they look at each other in amazement… and some relief.

DAVE
You, too?

RICK
Oh, God, yeah. Every day is like ten hours of slow, painful torture.

DAVE
The sounds the machine makes when it’s agitating the clothing… I hear them in my sleep.

RICK
The smell of the solvent… it’s everywhere, even when I leave the store.

DAVE
And the people-

RICK
There are so many of them.

DAVE
I mean, they’re all great, really nice people.

RICK
But there are so many of them. All the time. And for each one of them, we have to check at least two pockets per item of clothing that they give us. Do you realize how many pens we have in the back? Can’t people take them out of their own pockets? (Beat)I have a dream, Dave. A dream that one day, I will find a pen in a pocket and I will leave it there. And then I will put the coat or the shirt or whatever it is in the machine and I will close the door and I will press the start button, and through the tiny window, I will watch the ink from the pen destroy the garment beyond recovery. And I will enjoy it.

DAVE
Wow. And I thought I was far gone.

2 comments:

  1. Not where I thought it was going to go, interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, that's exactly what I was going for!

    ReplyDelete