That's something I have trouble with in life... actually making the move to do something. I'm fine musing over all the "what-if"s, good and bad. I like to make plans. I like to talk over my options with other people. But actually embarking on a task? Not so easy for me. I am the queen of cold feet. Most of the time, I work through them and get on with whatever I need to do, but sometimes, I don't always pull through or, worse, I decide I do want to do whatever it is and realize that I waited too long and it's too late.
My proposal for the Peter Pan project is due on Monday. The form we have to turn in is actually quite simple and I could have it filled out by now, ready to hand to my teacher. But I wanted to get a better feel for what I wanted/needed first. I sat around and thought. I went to the park and thought. I went on Facebook a lot and stopped thinking for awhile and then I thought again.
Thinking is a wonderful and essential step in writing, but there is an even more important step that, had people not taken it, would have resulted in no books being written- ACTION! Though I was thinking a lot, I was too scared to put anything down in a document. I am so afraid of failure in this project that I just did a lot of staring when I brought up a blank page. I collected a good amount of research, which helped me a lot and gave me invaluable peeks into my characters, but what if I tried to apply that knowledge and it fell flat?
So I didn't actually write any more of the script until today. After slacking into the early afternoon, I finally got my stuff together and went to my school library to work. Really, I need to get out of my room sometimes to write. I just get too comfortable there, too familiar with my surroundings. I need stimulation in the form of a new location every now and then.
And I actually wrote some stuff! It's been slow going, as the lurking fear of failure pops up at me at every turn like that fuzzy orange monster in the Weight Watchers commercials. It's also a little bit harder due to the period language- finding the right word to go certain places without going modern.
But as scared as I am, I really want to write this adaptation. I want to share it with my class and my teacher. And- dare I admit it? One day, in the far future... I want to mount it on the stage. Obviously, this will take a lot of work- even just making it good enough in my eyes to show my class is going to take a lot of work. But I'm passionate enough about this project to do it.